Seal my heart and break my pride
I've nowhere to stand and now nowhere to hide
Align my heart, my body, my mind
To face what I've done and do my time

btw

My government professor is crazy, yo.

We aren't allowed to use the bathroom - which is understandable when he requests we 'potty' before class, but he went on a rant about how rude it was to get up and leave.


"SERIOUSLY - it's rude."

Preach!

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me, shine until tomorrow

For a few months I have been under this idea of sadness. I can't seem to shake it off.

No matter what prayer I say, no matter what verse I read and no matter who I am around. With my family, with my friends, in my school work or even before God.

It wasn't until today that I realized that the world does not revolve around me. Of course I knew this before, but since last semester I have been so caught in trying to be the center of attention that I have pushed myself before God's work.


Mistake #1. Lesson learned, God is good.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

2010

What a year, what a year.

Wow, I feel like there are two different parts of this year.

The really good part and then there’s the really crappy part.

Good parts include: weight loss, good times at my favorite school (Liberty!), embracing change (a new concept for me), the awesome small group I was involved in last Spring semester. Friends visiting me from VA in the summer! It was for a night only but it was a blast and made me feel so lovedappreciatewanted etc etc. A lot of laughs, being on a normal sleeping schedule in the summer, driving in New Jersey for the first time by myself. Getting lost on thus route but finding my way out and only being late by five minutes :) Going to Richmond, VA, Charlotte, NC, Washington DC, Baltimore, Maryland and Lewistown, PA! Visiting over 8 different homes of friends from school! My goal is to way higher than that :) Having a ‘cru’ and always doing things with them. Including downtown, taking endless amounts of pictures, watching movies in snowflex and the clab, claiming every spot on campus, and staying in the CLAB every night until 2 AM. Growing to love six girls that I meat every Tuesday and pray for dailly ;)

Knowing I need God in every part of my life.

Tested and tried…

Bad parts include: Leaving above stated small group. I think about it often and God is working in those girls lives, and I miss it so. Saying goodbye to Naomi. She’s right up the street but she’s not mine anymore. Having someone take me on a walk and tell me that my life is not honoring to Christ and that I am a bad influence, thus removing me from her and her family’s life. This was the hardest, I think. Saying goodbye to more than just her but also a few friends. Realizing I have so many problems that I need to fix. Personal things my family has been through. Realizing why I had been so pro-feminism for all of those years. Getting little sleep during my Fall semester. My first and FINAL D in my college career. Ugh, jealously running through me. Being homesick for the first time of my life, and having my first Thanksgiving away from home.

2010 has been such an eye-opener.

However, in the year 2011 I am looking for peace, restoration, healing, and forgiveness.

And there can never be too many witty laughs. :)

From my quiet time yesterday.

Mark 2:21

“Besides, who would patch old clothing with new cloth? For the new patch would shrink and rip away from the old cloth, leaving an even bigger tear than before.”

Here’s to tearing off the old self and putting on my new garment supplied by Jesus, my peace-giving, restoring, healing and forgiving Savior.

tight grip on reality

I have NO idea where to begin. I wish it wasn't so late because there is so much I want to elaborate on.
For now I will write this...
1) Senior
2) Junior
3) Peace!

Tomorrow when I am not on a time crunch...

faithful and true

My heart is heavy with a lot.

I have never really experienced persecution. When I asked to be a light the world, I never knew that it would be this hard. I figured I would be handed someone who really needs the love of Jesus, not people who already know of His love.

Crazy how God works.

The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

end of the new. a time of reflection

This year has been so new to me on so many levels. Spiritual, social, geographical, and educational.

Spiritual
I come from a small town with even smaller churches. I've always known about God and I'd like to thank my small town background for my rather interesting testimony. Here at Liberty University, I reached and talked to God like I have never before. You always hear it's a relationship not a religion, and the truth is.. it's true! I find myself daily walking in what He has in store for me, and I have this continuing comfort that He is the provider for everything I need in life. Simple ways that He has proven His self to me with money, friends, and family really show me that God cares about every little detail of my life. Being Baptized in the Fall really has me step up to show the world that I am a changed person in Christ, and Christ alone. I cannot wait until this summer to really reach out and to touch the world for Him, with love. Even if it that world is little old Delaware with our 1 million population.

Social
All of the friends I have made at Liberty will hold a special place in my heart. It is always hard to close off the first part of anything, so 17-2 being my first brother dorm and 21-1 being my first hall will never be forgotten. Endless nights of staying up too late for no other reason than just to laugh about absolutely nothing. Randomly walking into rooms without knocking and having the permission to do so. The rot dinners at 5:30 pm and Wednesday night dinners before campus church. Or how about those lunches after Campus Church on Sundays. Seems like all we did was eat.. and it's true. 21-1 and all of us being crazy obsessed with working out and getting in shape and being so blessed that we are the first girl dorm after the princess steps, and we are on the first floor! I really am just running so many memories through my mind and it's just warming my heart to know that I have been blessed with these friends of mine. Even though next year we will spread throughout LU from m19, the circle, east, and all over the country, I know that we will always be friends. FOREVER (church camp?) Other than the friends I am so blessed to have made, there is always the space to grow. I have been stretched and turned and twisted ways that in the past I would have just given up. I've learned a thing called love and patience. Through these it is so much easier to accept people for who they are rather than rejecting them because of who they are not.

Geographical
Above the mason-dixon line there is a mountain range and it called the Appalachian mountains, not the Applatchian mountains. Since I decided to go to school in the south, I have learned so many little quirks about things that never really mattered to me in our American culture. Annunciations of words for one. Also, fashion styles are a lot different down here, too. Sperrys? What are they? Oh, those older men boating shoes.. and all of my friends are wearing them... I love that I have spread new slang to all of my friends, too. Example 1: Salty. I have always loved diversity and being down here really has made me appreciate where I come from (THREE OH TWO BABY) and to really just see differences that people my age are aware of. Now that I am back in the land of flatness, I sweat a lot less but I do love telling people where I've been.

Educational
My first year at an University was interesting to say the least. Even though I am going into my senior year of college, I have never experienced finals week before I came here, for which I should be thankful. No sleep and too much to do, but honestly it makes me feel like I am actually learning.