the darkest night will end

whaddup blogpost!!!

today was just any other ordinary day. the color of despair painted the skies since it was before six am. i laid in bed, i refused to get up. i got ready in 15 minutes and off to work i went. no hair, no makeup.

just another ordinary day.

after working out and getting home to make myself quite a boring lunch, and to take a nap that was 2.5 hours long, i found myself mindlessly feeling rushed to pull my hair to the side so it wouldn't look bad, and i was disappointed that i wasted another day. another day of just going through the motions and not really doing anything with it. just another day of fixing books, putting them back on the shelf. just another day of working out and putting on nice outfits that get wasted on the rot and on the locker room at the gym. when did my days become so dismal? when did my hours turn into a ticking clock that didn't mean anything?

today, i saw an old friend at the gym. a friend that i see at the gym a lot, actually. she and i catch up briefly when we see each other. she tells me that i need wear more sunscreen. that i need to sleep more and eat right. and she always tells me that she loves me. she never forgets that part. i tell her the same back. and i believe her. i know that she really does care, and it if weren't for these times at the gym, i would never get to see her. she brought a lil sense of joy to my day, and she made my dull boring routine a little brighter. ironically, she is apart of my routine and i love that. i love that i get to see her there, day after day, week after week.

i just want to make something out of this. i feel stuck in a rut, like everything is the same and i'm not challenged. i should take this time in and really rest on this downtime, because in a month (less than now), i will be anything but rested. planes, dollar bills and cat naps are going to be my life. the calm before the storm.

no one said that the storm had to be a bad one. thunder storms are scary, but what really comes from there? some thunder? a lil rain? but what's after them if it the sun is still out?!??!

a daggon rainbow!

but i am glad i played volleyball and i am glad that i didn't allow myself to be shy. i was tempted.

promising light

When it rains, it pours. I'm talking about God's love right now my friends. Raising support for my trip hasn't has been as stressful as I thought it would be. Honestly, I thought I would struggle - and don't get me wrong I have had those moments of thinking that I wouldn't make deadlines. But heyheyheydur, there is this God we serve that is so much greater than that. It was like every time freakouts began, I was reminded that God was in control. 

Matthew states so boldly, "But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Here I am, a poor little girl who could not afford a 3,000 dollar trip. But now I am less than 100 dollars away from being fully funded and I'm just sitting here in shock thinking that this is crazy and impossible in my eyes. 

The next thing I'm so excited to see God work out is the job situation. I should be stressing and freaking but a promise I get to claim says "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." 

All I know is I don't even deserve that, but alas I have it and I'm taking it. nomz

I told you to be patient

This may be so irrelevant and you may already know this, but I feel as though I need to share.

Click play.
Seriously. Just.Do.It.

There is so much music out there, but this, this is raw. Did you know that this whole album is the result of 3 months of solitude?
Like I said - raw. It's got my heart turning and aching for more.

party hopping in the house tonight

In the course of the past five days, I have attended five parties.

Let's just say that the party week started off slow, but quickly gained momentum. I'm talking rushing from one party to the next and barely able to catch your breath in your red party pants! It's really draining to celebrate so many things! And on top of that there was Spring Coffeehouse on Friday night (right after Aly's bday party).

Oh and Roxie's party, surprising her with a meet and greet with Elmer Towns, and Kate's awkward time of the year Spring surprise birthday party, and a bridal shower and a make believe tea party Saturday morning. My wallet hurts, but heart does not. I'm so exhausted and I am looking for some down time here in the next few days. I'm also looking forward to the chance to wear pants again.

BUT! I am so happy this weekend happened. Lately, it has dawned on me how I always reflect on the past and how great those times were. But really, I'm 23 years old and I know that a year from now I'm going to look at this weekend, and this Spring semester and think how fun these times were. I am going to be fond of these memories and I am going to say - hey Thanks God for all of those times I got to spend with my friends.
I know that this time next month now, we are all going to be getting ready to head our separate ways, but we're always together in my heart. I don't know what the future holds. It's scary and it is hard to think about, so right now I am going to be fond of these memories and not worry about it, for today's worry is sufficient in its self.